Helena: Finaal! Vabadus on armastus, armastus on kunst

23. märts oli jubejube õhtu. Jäime projektipäeviku esitamisega veitsa hiljaks, kuid võeti siiski vastu meid. Käisin ka kolmapäeval inBoiliga jutustamas, kuid ta ütles siiski ära. Põhjustest saan täiesti aru, kuid neid ma siia välja tooma ei hakka.
Samal päeval olime kõik kuivad nagu hein ja rasked nigu kivid. Täiesti tühjad motivatsioonist ja tahtest Entrumile minna, rääkimata projekti elluviimisest.
Reede õhtul otsustasin, et midagi pean ma ka lõpuks korda saatma. Ma kirjutasin Eneliinile ja Eliisele, et mina igatahes lähen laupäeval, ise teavad, kas tulevad, mis nende süda neile ütleb. Ma isegi ei tea, kas oleksin TEGELIKULT ka läinud üksi sinna, kuid õnneks toetas Eliise mind ja õhtul tegime oma tekstid ümber, ta ema aitas ka. Aitäh!

Ma panin ausõna hommikul äratuse 15min varemaks, et ma hiljaks ei jääks, kuid see siiski juhtus. Aga bussijuht oli väga tore inimene! Me olime kahekesi Eliisega bussis, tagasi tulime teise bussiga. Eneliin ei tulnud.
Hakkasime Eliisega oma tekste vaatama ja jaotama. Ja üllatus-üllatus: Anette isiklikult oli kohal ja andis meile toredad purgikesed erinevate aforismide ja innustavate lausetega. Aitäh sullegi!
Pidime minema proovi tegema, Eliisel oli tekstki veel kirjutama. Lavaproov läks suhteliselt nihu, sest ta oli närvis ja otsustasime seda teha nii, et räägime korraga, sest aega oli vaid 2 min ja enamus läks see sellele, et aru saada, mis üldse toimub.
Sõime kaa, söök oli endiselt hea.
Mina ise täiega põdesin kõike, sest me ei teadnud, millal meie järjekord on ja tahtsime siiski veel panna oma esitlusele laulu taustaks ( Current Swell- Young and Able ). Tehnikamehed olid hästi toredad ja abivalmid ning olid nõus panema ise slaide, sest selles osas me polnud nii able'id, pluss võtsid nad ilusti meie laulu vastu, et panna taustaks. Olime kolmandas blokis. Laual kutsusid pirukad ja saiakesed, kuid me ei suutnud süüa. Meid rahustas Harald, see oli väga tulemuslik.
Tegelikult ma ei mäleta midagi eriti sellest, mis seal laval juhtus. Eliise läks umbes 30 seki üle, keegi ei takistanud, panime edasi. Žüriist ei tulnud ka eriti väga küsimusi. Kaks varianti: kas nad ei saanud midagi aru või oli see nii hea, et võttis sõnatuks. Iseenesest oleks huvitav näha, mida me seal korraldasime. Tunne oli super-super-super. Inimesed ütlesid ilusaid sõnu.
Edasi läksime sealt välja, kus võtsid meid vastu kaks kaasaelajat ja saatsid meid filminurka. Küsiti küsimusi, olin eriti rahul Mammu viimase lausega. Vabadus on armastus, armastus on kunst.
Edasi kaeti meie silmad ning viidi VIP ruumi. Ma olin nii segaduses, et tegin väga imeliku asja, sellest aga ma siinkohal vaikin. Liiga piinlik.
Tegime oma mingisuguse skeemi, eduratas????? igatahes jõime mingit marumagusat jooki, mingit lavaši-asja ja tomat-juust?-tomat tikuvõileiba. Pluss siis üks magus asi, millest me mõlemad Mammuga aru ei saanud. Oli mingi imeliku topsi sees, mõnusa sidruni ja vahukoore maitsega. Mul oli see kausike tühi juba, siis ütleb Mammu, et õu, see ju söödav- šokolaad! Oleks tahtnud seda sokulaadi koos sele vahukooreasjandusega süüa :( , mulle ei meeldi ju sokulaad eriti.
Magasime maha kolm projektitutvustust.

Mind paneb imestama see, et inimestel pole ikka veel selge, mis nad teevad, mis nad tahavad ja miks.
Läbivad teemad olidki kas vanurid, toitumine, muusikaüritused või lastekodulapsed.


Aajah, esinejaks oli Loss Paranoias. Mai tea, minule see muusika ei istu.

Suured tänud Eliisele, et ta toetas mind. See oli niiiii hea päev. Taastasime usu oma projekti ja tegemistesse. Olgu, kindlalt langeb see mot. järnevatel nädalatel, aga see tuleb, see peab tulema tagasi. No kurat! Otsustasime reede õhtul, et lähme, õppisime ju nii väikse ajaga oma tekstid pähe. Miks siis ei peaks kõik hästi minema. Jah, me ei saanud teine kordki Noortefondilt toetust, aga nad pole öelnud, et nad ei anna iial seda. Kirjutame veel kolmaski, ja kui vaja, siis ka neljaski.

Meie

Üksi, kahekeisi, meie
togime nügime hoolime naerame
igatseme kurvastame läheme halliks
võtame heaks ja kaootiliselt
liigume
võtame vabalt
kogu südamest hoiame armastame
iseend, teineteist :)

unipopcorn 31.03.2012

tegelt mulle see luuletus vist ei meeldigi. ja meid on ju kolm.
(actually i don't like this poem so much. and there is three of us.)


Mammu ja ma tantsimas entrumil (Mammu and i dancing in Entrum)

Helena: Finale! Freedom is love, love is art.

  23.march was a very terrible night. We delayed with delivering our project diary, but nevertheless we were accepted. On Wednesday i went to chat with inBoil, but still he said no. I totally understand the reason why, but i’m not going to exhibit them here. 

On the same day we all were dry like hay and heavy like stones. Completely empty from motivation and willing to got to Entrum, not to mention the implementation of the project.

Friday night i decided, that eventually i have to accomplish something. I wrote to Eneliin and Eliise, that i’m going on Saturday and that they only know, if they come or what their hearts tell them. I don’t even know, if i would have actually gone there alone, but thankfully Eliise supported me and in the evening we changed our texts, her mother also helped us. Thanks!

I swear that i put my alarm clock 15. minutes earlier in the morning, that i wouldn’t be late, but still it happened. But the bus driver was really nice person! I and Eliise were the only ones in the bus, we came back with another bus. Eneliin didn’t come.

We started with Eliise to look and divide our texts. And surprise-surprise: Anette came personally there and gave us a nice jars with different afrosims and inspiring sentences on the slip of paper. Thank you , too!

We had to make a trial, but Eliise didn’t even had the text written. Stagetrial went comparatively crosswise, because she was nervous and because we decided to speak at the same time, ’cause we had only 2 minutes on stage and most of it went for understanding what’s going on.

We also ate, the food was still good.

I was really nervous, because we didn’t know, when we had to go on the stage and we also wanted to put a song into our presentation, to play in the background (Current Swell – Young and Able). Technique men we really pleasant and helpfuls and agreed to put the slides themselves, ’cause in that part we weren’t so able, plus they accepted nicely our song, to put it in the background. We were in the third block. Pies and baked rolls on the table caught our eye, but we couldn’t eat. Harald calmed us and it was very effective.

Actually i don’t remember much of anything about what happened on the stage. Eliise crossed the limit about 30 seconds, but noone didn’t stop her and so we went on. From the jury didn’t come particular questions. Two options: either they couldn’t understand anything or  it was so good, that it took sppechless. In intself it would be interesting to see, what we organised there. Feeling was super-super-superb. People said beautiful words.

Then we left the room and two enthusiastic persons waited for us behind the door and send us in to the film corner.

 Next we had to cover our eyes and they lead us into the VIP room. I was so confused and it made me to do a very weird thing, but at this point i  don’t say nothing. Too embarrassing.

We made some kind of a scheme, success-circle???? Anyway, we drank some kind of very-sweet juice and ate some kind of  thing and tomato-cheese?-tomato friction match sandwich. Plus one very sweet thing from what both Mammu and i didn’t understand. It was in very strange small cup, with delightful taste of lemon and whipped cream. I had the cup already empty, when Mammu said, that hei, it’s edible chocolate! I would have wanted this chocolate to eat with this whipped cream-thing : (, i don’t like chocolate so much.

We missed three project presentations.

What makes me wonder is, that people still doesn’t have a clear knowing about what they do or what they want and why.

The passing through themes were the elders, eating habbits, music festivals or orphanage children.

The performer was Loss Paranoias. I don’t know, this music isn’t my cup of tea.

Big thanks to Eliise, that she supported me. It was sooo good day. We restored our faith into our project and into its’ activities. Okey, surely our motivation will fall down in the couple of weeks, but it comes, it has to come back. Dammit! We decided Friday night, that we will go, we learned our text by heart in so little time. Why should it all go well. Yes, we didn’t get the support from the Youth Fond, but they haven’t told us, that they will never give it to us. We will wrote for the third time, and if it’s needed, then for the fourth time, too.